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Showing posts from May, 2007

Post Birthday Blues

It's been a few weeks since the traumatic day arrived, but for some reason I can't seem to shake the feeling. Of course many of my friends laugh it off, saying "You're still a baby...call us when you hit the half century mark." Okay, so maybe they are right, but for me, 39 is a big year. Not quite 40, but it might as well be. "How old are you," someone asks. And now I have to reply with the dreaded figure. "Oh sure," they grin. "39 and holding, right?" Wink, wink.

I asked another friend, who is a few years my junior, if we had hit middle age. I always thought it was much later in life, but apparently I have arrived. There is no crisis. Just a bit of unease, wondering how I ended up here. This life looks nothing like what I had anticipated some 20 years ago.

To make myself even more miserable, I flipped through my college photo albums and found pictures of my 19th birthday. Cute boyfriend (who turned out to be gay), best fri…